It's January second. I am waiting for my hair cut appointment. I will be having most of my hair cut off. Rather than have it all go to waste, I am donating it for wig making and choosing to loose short hair instead of long hair as a result of my chemo. This is going to hurt (emotionally) a lot. It may be immature but I like my hair just the way it is. I am going to be devastated when it falls out. Maybe I will be a bit less devastated having had most of it cut off. A pre-emptive strike so to speak. Probably not. My hair is my identity. When people describe me, they always, without fail, refer to me as the redhead. They don't say anything else. I am "the redhead in the black coat" or whatever. I hate this.
We visited Mom over the holiday. She wants to come here now to help and I am not ready for her help yet. I hope she gets over her pique. It's not that I don't want her, just that I want her later when I feel that I will need her more. Sigh.
Tomorrow is the day. I start chemo. I don't want to do this but since I decided to do it, I want it started already! Lets get going! Charlotte is coming with me - another set of ears to hear all of the instructions as well as someone to hold my hand and/or distract me during the bad parts. ; )
Knitting - a much better topic:
Bob's sleeve is near the top - I am knitting back and forth now for the arm scye.
I have about 7 inches (of 11) of the first sleeve on Atelier knitted.
I have been working on the chemo cameo shawl also. The pattern calls for 51 picots to be knitted along one edge before adding the contrasting color and I have knitted about 38 picots.
I did some sampling for a spinning project while at Mom's house. I sampled on a spindle though I plan to spin the yarn on the wheel. I want to spin a 3 ply for a cowl project. I am excited to have chosen a project, then the fiber, then how to spin to get what I want. I hope I can spin what I want. I think this spinning will be very relaxing and enjoyable over the next few weeks. I just have to clear those bobbins of that black welsh mountain before I can get started officially.
Well, I am off to the hair salon. Fingers crossed that I don't totally hate myself when I leave there.....
3 comments:
I don't think it's immature. Our self-identity is who we are. I'll be sending out positive thoughts and prayers as you go through this trial.
My head was once practically shaved by a barber who really didn't understand what two inches looked like. A bit of a surprise, but it did grow back. Can you have a wig made of your own hair? If there's enough to donate, surely there's enough to make one for yourself? Just remember that it is temporary. Difficult, perhaps, but not forever...you'll be back to being "you" in no time!
And people who want to "help" should remember that it's about being helpful and doing what you need, not what they want. The last thing you need is guilt over not wanting help that you don't need right now. I'm sure your Mom will remember that when she's had some time.
Hurrah for knitting! One stitch at a time. =)
Thank you. I appreciate the support I am getting. It's been wonderful.
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